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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158345">Prank Wars Solve Everything (sometimes)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicbird/pseuds/ironicbird'>ironicbird</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Gen, Prank Wars, Rivals to Brothers, Short One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:00:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicbird/pseuds/ironicbird</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Damian is Bruce’s favorite, Tim thought to himself. I mean, who could compete with the biological son? Tim himself hadn’t been an official member of the family until he was sixteen. Tim had no doubts that Bruce loved all of them as his children, but the rest of them could never compete with Damian. Damian was blood. Every now and again, the light would hit the little gremlin on the face just perfectly to make him look like an exact carbon copy of his father. Genetics didn’t lie. No matter what Tim did, he could never measure up to Damian.</p><p>Drake is Father’s favorite, Damian thought to himself.  Damian saw the glimmer in his father’s eye when Drake would talk about a case that he solved, or a criminal that he had defeated. He knew that Father saw himself more in Drake than his own blood son. No matter what Damian did, he could never measure up to Drake.</p><p>Perhaps it was time to do something about that, both thought to themselves.</p><p>(A rivals to brothers fic. NOT SLASH, they are brothers y'all)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tim Drake &amp; Damian Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>117</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Prank Wars Solve Everything (sometimes)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Quick drabble about Damian and Tim being rivals to brothers because I had some feels and I needed a break from my dark AU that I've been working on because it’s making me sad. Also, I’m trying to get better at writing Damian because I haven’t written him much. I wrote this really fast so if there are mistakes uhh sorry.</p><p>I definitely blend New 52 and pre-New 52 elements in this but who cares, canon is fake. I do what I want to tell my stories. Hope y’all enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Damian is Bruce’s favorite, </em>Tim thought to himself. I mean, who could compete with the biological son? Tim himself hadn’t been an <em>official</em> member of the family until he was sixteen. Tim had no doubts that Bruce loved all of them as his children, but the rest of them could never compete with Damian. Damian was blood. Every now and again, the light would hit the little gremlin on the face just perfectly to make him look like an exact carbon copy of his father. Or he would brood in just the right manner that he seemed to be a mini version of Bruce. Genetics didn’t lie. No matter what Tim did, he could never measure up to Damian.</p><p><em>Drake is Father’s favorite,</em> Damian thought to himself. Everyone always seemed to assume that it was Grayson, but the truth was that their relationship had never completely recovered after Grayson had quit as Robin and stormed off to Bludhaven. Drake, despite not being blood related, was the closest in personality and demeanor to Damian’s father. Not to mention that Drake had been the only one who had not given up on Father when everyone else believed him to be dead. Damian saw the glimmer in his father’s eye when Drake would talk about a case that he solved, or a criminal that he had defeated. He knew that Father saw himself more in Drake than his own blood son. No matter what Damian did, he could never measure up to Drake.</p><p><em>Perhaps it was time to do something about that, </em>both thought to themselves. It’s not like they owed anything to each other. Tim would never forget the not one, but two attempts on his life. Damian would never forget Drake’s affront of daring to assume that he could ever usurp Damian’s position of son and heir.</p><p>It started simple. For instance, Tim accidentally walked into a side table one day in the manor, causing the lamp seated on the top to fall over and shatter on the ground. Damian alerted Alfred and his father of this misconduct, ensuring that Drake was implicated as the culprit. He wasn’t tattling, he was reporting an offense, ergo he was doing his civic duty.</p><p>Tim hadn’t been thrilled that the little brat had ratted on him. It had been a small accident after all, not the end of the world. It’s not like he wasn’t going to clean up the lamp. In retaliation, Tim took one of Damian’s favorite swords and hid it, and then watched the little gremlin search frantically for it for hours.</p><p>The battles then started to go back and forth. Damian “accidentally” tripped Tim one night on patrol, causing Tim to faceplant onto some gravel. Tim changed the password on Damian’s computer to “I’mAPrettyPrincess” and encrypted a bunch of his important files so that he couldn’t access them unless he completed a multitude of puzzles and riddles. Damian cut the power to the bathroom while Tim was in the shower. Tim put a bunch of alarm clocks in the vents near Damian’s room and set them to go off at random intervals.</p><p>These battles kept escalating over time, but neither Tim nor Damian were willing to relent. Damian put green paint in Tim’s shoes, which seeped through Tim’s socks and made the soles of his feet green. Tim replaced half of Damian’s batarangs with pieces of foam noodle, so when Damian went to throw them, they simply floated to the ground.</p><p>The only unspoken rule of this war was to keep it hidden from the rest of the family, lest Bruce catch on and get angry at the two of them.</p><p>Tim used his time with the Titans as an escape from the constant war with Damian. He needed some days away from the manor, get some breathing room. At least the little brat wasn’t there to interrupt his time with his friends. Or so he thought.</p><p>Cue Dick, showing up at the tower one day with Damian in tow, saying that Damian needed the chance to make some friends closer to his age. Tim had pulled Dick aside, and explained that this had been his sanctuary away from the little demon but Dick insisted that Damian stay. Damian needs friends too apparently, and it’s not like Tim had a lot of leverage to protest against one of the founding members of the Titans.</p><p>Tim tried to ignore the little smirk that Damian gave him when he returned from his conversation with Dick. He knew it was only a matter of time before Damian tried something to ruin Tim’s life.</p><p>It was only a couple of hours before Damian had pulled up a slideshow of Tim’s baby pictures that he had acquired from God knows where to show to the entire team for them to laugh at.</p><p>Tim had enough. The next time that the two of them were at the manor, he went out and bought the biggest and beefiest steaks that he could find. Then, he hid Batcow in a secluded passage of the Batcave, where Damian couldn’t find her. Lastly, he made a big show of cooking the steaks in the kitchen. He didn’t turn on the kitchen vent so that the smell would permeate the air.</p><p>Damian finally came down and wrinkled his nose at the smell of meat but didn’t think anything of the steaks until he went down to feed Batcow and couldn’t find her. He ran back up into the kitchen and asked Tim where Batcow had gone. Tim didn’t say a word, only slightly leaned his head in a nod towards the steaks.</p><p>Damian went ballistic. Tim only had a moment to set down the pan with the steak and hot oil before Damian was on him, punching and scratching and clawing at any part of Tim he could find. Tim went on the defense, simply trying to counter Damian’s attacks.</p><p>They made enough of a ruckus to attract the attention of Bruce, who walked in on the two of them mid-skirmish.</p><p>"That’s ENOUGH you two,” Bruce shouted angrily as he pulled the two boys apart, “I don’t know what caused this but this is unacceptable.”</p><p>“He killed Batcow,” Damian yelled.</p><p>“I did not,” Tim replied, “She’s fine, she’s down in the cave. I just wanted Damian to think that I had cooked her.”</p><p>Bruce sighed exasperatedly, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed this sort of war the two of you have been having recently. I’m assuming this is just the latest battle, but either way this is unacceptable behavior.”</p><p>Both Damian and Tim began trying to explain their point of view at the same time, resulting in an incomprehensible amalgamation of words.</p><p>Bruce put a hand up to his forehead, “I don’t want to hear excuses. I want the two of you to talk this out and figure it out. This ends today.”</p><p>Bruce took them both down the hall and into a spare bedroom. He ensured that the room was free of any sharp, pointy objects or anything else that they could use to kill each other. It took quite a while, they all knew various ways to hurt people with inane objects. Then, he locked the window and the door and told the two boys that they would stay in there until they talked it out, but that he would come by to check on them in a bit.</p><p>Damian huffed angrily as the door closed behind Bruce.</p><p>“Did we just get put in time out?” Tim said, “Like children?”</p><p>Damian scoffed, “The only child here is <em>you</em>, Drake.”</p><p>“Says the twelve year old,” Tim retorted.</p><p>“I’m <em>thirteen</em> you insolent-”</p><p>“That doesn’t sound like talking things out,” Bruce’s voice echoed from outside the door.</p><p>“Tt,” Damian crossed his arms and looked to the side.</p><p>“Sounds like we’re not getting out of this until we talk this out,” Tim said.</p><p>“As if there is anything to discuss. I do not respect you, and you have no inclinations for me. That is the bottom line,” Damian replied.</p><p>“The only reason I started hating you is because you tried to <em>kill </em>me,” Tim responded, “Not just once, but twice. I was completely ready to welcome you to the family, but then you tried to murder me.”</p><p>“It was not your family that I was to be welcomed to. It was mine from the beginning. You simply occupied a space that was rightfully mine,” Damian said.</p><p>Tim sighed, “You have to know by this point that’s just not true. That’s not how things work around here.”</p><p>“I understand now that you are not the threat to my position in the family that I once considered you to be,” Damian replied, “However, you still pose a threat to my position as heir to Wayne Enterprises. I am the blood son, after all.”</p><p>“Don’t you think I know that?” Tim said, voice raising slightly, “I know you’re the blood son. You remind me constantly. I’m not purposely trying to usurp anything from you. If anything, you took things from me. You took Robin from me. You’re in the process of taking the Titans from me. This family, is all the family I have left. I’m just trying to stay here, and be a part of it. But I can’t exactly do that easily when you regularly have a sword at my throat.”</p><p>Damian scoffed, “As if Father would just toss you out. You are clearly his favorite.”</p><p>Tim threw a very confused look at Damian, “What are you talking about? If anyone is the favorite, it’s you.”</p><p>“Do not insult my perception, Drake. I have noticed the looks of pride that he has given you. You clearly remind him the most of himself. He never looks that way at me, despite our blood connection,” Damian replied.</p><p>Tim raised an eyebrow, “Then you’re blind because he is definitely proud of you. You’re his actual son. He sees himself in you too.”</p><p>“I am not <em>blind</em>,” Damian hissed, “I understand our situations perfectly.”</p><p>“I think we both have been blind,” Tim replied, “I think we have both hated the other for a misperception of reality.”</p><p>Damian paused for a moment before responding, “Perhaps. Perhaps not.”</p><p>“No, no I think we have,” Tim said, “You were mad at me because you thought that I was taking over your spot in the family, and I was mad at you because I thought you were taking over my spot in the family.”</p><p>“Then we have quarreled without true cause,” Damian replied.</p><p>“Exactly,” Tim said, “We both thought that the other was trying to take over the other’s position in the family, but there’s room for both of us if we’re both willing to accept that.”</p><p>Damian looked to the side for a moment, considering Tim’s proposal before turning back to face him, “I view your surrender as acceptable, Drake,”</p><p>Tim laughed, “It’s not a surrender, Damian, it’s a compromise and an understanding.”</p><p>“Tt,” Damian huffed, “Fine.”</p><p>Tim held out a hand, “So, truce?”</p><p>Damian hesitated for a moment, before shaking Tim’s hand, “Truce.”</p><p>Tim smiled, “Alright, now lets go get Batcow.”</p><p>“You didn’t hurt her right?” Damian asked.</p><p>“I would never,” Tim replied.</p><p>“Good.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope you enjoyed! Find me on Twitter and Tumblr @scarletbirbs for both. I am more active on Tumblr.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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